Assignment #3B

The terms marked and unmarked categories, which is the unspoken hierarchy of power within our society, are not things that are familiar to a lot of people. There are many dimensions to determine which category you belong to. These categories range from race, gender, socioeconomic status, sexuality, language, religion, geography and age. One who belongs to the marked category is looked at as being powerless and subordinate to those who belong to the unmarked category. These two categories are very much present in my life being that I am in an interracial relationship, since I am white and my boyfriend is black. Despite living in a society that has supposedly moved passed the issue of skin color, there are still plenty of obstacles that we are both faced with in our relationship when it comes to race, socioeconomic status, and geography. We both come from two very different places, and the two particular instances that I am going to address is when I went to visit his family in Brooklyn, New York, and he went to visit my family in Columbia, Maryland.

My boyfriend and I took a trip up to New York to visit some of his family last summer. We first stopped in Manhattan to go to Times Square to walk around, shop, and site see. In this part of New York, there is such a large variety of people there that neither of us felt uncomfortable, even though being an interracial couple in public is not always the easiest thing. As we walked towards the subway station to go towards his Grandmother’s apartment in Brooklyn that night, she called us and insisted on coming to pick us up, and not having to take the subway or walk. My boyfriend told her to not worry about it, that it would take longer for her to come get us than it would to take the subway. Although my boyfriend now lives in Maryland, he did live in New York so he knows the subway system very well. As we got on the subway train and headed towards Brooklyn, the scenery definitely changed. As we reached the last couple of stops, I was now one of the very few white females on the train. Once we reached our stop, it was roughly 10:00 p.m. and very dark outside. We had a four block walk from the station to the apartment through an area considered the “ghetto.” The streets were lined with dim lit street lights, tall apartment buildings, and young black males congregating on the street corners and in front of the apartment building entrances.

I had been warned a few times by my boyfriend beforehand that white people are rarely seen going into that part of town, but I insisted that it was okay and that I would be fine. I always instill in him that I am from Prince George’s County, Maryland, and went to a high school where there was only a 6% White student population, so I am used to being the minority and it does not bother me. Being that we are in an interracial relationship, we are used to get stared at a lot, but this time it was different. I was getting stared at as if they had never seen a white girl before, and he was getting stared at like he should not be there with a white girl. I had a very uneasy feeling that I was not welcome there, and I had truly never felt like that before. As we got to his grandmother’s apartment, she was so relieved that we made it there safely and that she was worrying about us. I was given a tour of her small, cramped apartment, and was shown the pull-out couch that we would be sleeping on that night.

Race is the biggest factor contributing to the outcome of my trip to New York. As we were walking through Manhattan, it is almost as if marked and unmarked categories of race did not matter. We saw upper-class, lower-class, and homeless people of every race imaginable. Although racially I am considered to be unmarked, and he is considered to be marked, in New York City that did not seem to be an issue. However, once we headed to Brooklyn was when everything changed. When his Grandmother insisted on picking us up rather than us taking the subway, it did not phase me at first as to why. Now that I think about it, she may have been concerned for my well-being considering that I am white, and being white in Brooklyn is not very common, which would make me marked. On the other hand, she may have seen me as being unmarked because I am white and white people are seen as having more power, and why would a white person go into an area deemed as being “ghetto?” Then again, she may have totally forgotten about my race, and being that she is also marked because she is female, she may know that her area is not the safest for a female. It could have also been a combination of all of the above; she may have been concerned because I am both white and a female.
When we first got on the subway train, I noticed a good amount of upper-class white males on their way home from work, dressed in their business suits and carrying their leather brief cases. There were also a lot of young black teenage males, and homeless males and females in the station and sleeping on the train. In this particular setting, it is evident that marked and unmarked categories are present. The upper-class white males are unmarked and have power over the black teenagers and the homeless people who both belong to the marked category. However, a different aspect of the matrix of domination can be seen when thinking about the homeless men and women who are living in the subway station and on the trains. They do not have power over anyone at all, even if they are white males and essentially are part of the unmarked category.

Once we got off of the train and started walking, I felt that I was marked since I was being stared at and was the only white person within site. Even though my boyfriend is black and he normally would have be unmarked in Brooklyn, being that he was with me made him stand out as if he belonged in the marked category just as me as me. When we got to his Grandmother’s apartment, I did not understand why she was so worried about us. My boyfriend used to live there and would take the subway and walk in that area at night all the time and he was never bothered. But as soon as I was added to the picture, she was so worried something would happen to us. No one approached or talked to us, so I wonder if my race was the main reason she felt we would be.

A large part of belonging to a certain category depends on your socioeconomic status; there are certainly many other factors, but your status in society is a definitely a big one. The city of Manhattan is known as being the home to the upper-class business people and many wealthy celebrities, all who are unmarked. As we walked around in Times Square and window-shopped, it was evident that you needed to belong to a higher socioeconomic status to even afford something at a few of the stores. As we entered them, we were marked in the sense of our age and the way we looked and dressed compared to our fellow shoppers and the people who worked there. When we went to the train station, marked and unmarked categories were clearly present. The businessmen clearly have more power because they are white and males, but also mainly because they are in the upper-class and have money, which is a very big factor in who has power over whom in our country, which is run by the wealthy.

When we reached his Grandmother’s block, it was evident that we were not in the upper-class area of Manhattan anymore. In this particular part of town, the majority of the people who live there are marked because they are part of the working-class or poor. My boyfriend and I both come from middle-class families, which automatically makes us unmarked. His Grandmother is part of the working-class, which is why she was living in this part of Brooklyn and in that apartment. As I said earlier, my boyfriend used to live in that area as well and was also marked since he was part of the working-class. However, since leaving that area and moving to Maryland for a better life, he has that now and has moved up to the middle-class.

Geography also played an obvious role in my trip to New York. My boyfriend and I both come from the suburbs of Prince George’s County, and live in relatively nice neighborhoods with minor crimes committed here and there. We are comfortable and feel safe and secure in where we live, which would constitute us as being part of an unmarked category. However, Manhattan is not a suburb but yet it is also relatively safe and could be considered as unmarked for being a respectable place to live and visit. Yet when considering the area of Brooklyn, it is in the marked category since it is not exactly the safest place to live. As with most lower-class areas, there are a lot of drug deals, shootings, and domestic violence crimes. I do not consider that area to be more powerful then my middle-class neighborhood or Manhattan, yet in a sense it is. It has the power which produces fear in those within the community and those on the outside. People who live in a community like that strive to have the respect and power over others.

Our trip to Manhattan and Brooklyn was definitely an experience, but I feel that if I belonged to the opposite marked/unmarked category, then the outcome would have been different. For example, if I was a black female then his grandmother probably would not have been as worried about us, and I would not have been stared at like I was not welcome. Then again, if I was a male rather than a female, then maybe I would not have been looked at as if I needed to be protected and been picked up, rather than walking since we were in a dangerous area.

I come from a very large family who hosts a Chick family reunion every summer, and last year was no exception. The majority of my family on my father’s side lives in Howard County, Maryland, and last year’s reunion was at my aunt and uncle’s house in Columbia. He knew before coming to my family reunion that he would probably be the only black person, but he was okay with that. As we reached a block that was lined with $750,000 homes, I knew we had made it. After I parked my little Honda Civic next to my uncle’s BMW, we went inside so I could give him a tour. I took him through their three-level house, which has an extra living room and dining room that they do not even use. We went into the backyard where he met and talked to a lot of my family, most of which he had never met before. We got some food and sat down with my cousin and her boyfriend, who happened to be black as well. My boyfriend and my cousin’s boyfriend seemed to get along really well, and they talked almost the whole time during lunch. After a while my mother noticed that my boyfriend was only socializing with my cousin’s boyfriend. She decided to call him over to meet some of her relatives sitting at another table. After lunch, most of my cousins were swimming in the in-ground pool, so we decided to join them. After about an hour of that, we got out and walked down the street to the community’s little convenient store to get ice cream.

This is a predominately white area and he was the only black person around. We noticed that he was getting stared at a lot by the older residents of the community, as if he was not welcome there. He felt extremely uncomfortable so we got our ice cream and left. We hurried back to the house and went down into the basement where most of my cousins were. Since my aunt and uncle have two children, they furnished the basement with a pool table, slot machine, and a big screen television with every video game system available. After playing down there for a while, it was getting dark outside and everyone started to leave. My sister then decided it was time for those of us that were still there to get in the hot tub, which could fit about ten people.

Race always seems to be a factor in any event. Considering it was my family reunion, the majority of the people that were there were white, and were members of the unmarked category. When we sat down to eat lunch, it was almost as if my boyfriend and my cousin’s boyfriend gravitated towards each other since they were the same race and were part of the marked category. It seemed as though they felt the most comfortable around each other since they were the only black males that were there. Once my mother noticed this, she had him come over to meet my other relatives. This was to make him feel more like part of the family. It made it so that he felt more like part of the unmarked category, and less like part of the marked category. Even though they were technically the only marked people in a group of unmarked, does not necessarily mean that they were less powerful than us or were subordinate to us.

When we went down to the convenient store, we noticed a lot of yard workers who were being paid to cut the grass, tend to the garden, and trim the bushes of the wealthy homeowners. We also noticed that a lot of the older residents were staring at him because it was a rare thing to see a black person in that neighborhood. As they were sitting on their porch, they would often whisper and look at not only him, but me as well. They looked at me as if I should not have brought a black person into their community, which is very similar to the incident in Brooklyn. From their response, we assume that meant they did not necessarily agree with our interracial relationship. Being white technically made me unmarked, but because I brought a black person into a dominantly white area made me feel just as marked as him.

Socioeconomic status determines a lot of things in your life, especially the amount of power you have over others. My boyfriend and I may be unmarked in the sense that we belong to middle-class families, but my relatives are unmarked as well but still have a lot more power over us because they have more money. It was evident that you had to be part of the unmarked category to even be able to afford a home in that community. My uncle drives a BMW, along with many of his neighbors who have SUV’s and sports cars in their driveway. Once we went inside of their home, it was almost as if we fit more into the marked category, because we did not live in a home like that. We both come from middle-class families, but at the same time, we do not live in three-level homes with rooms that we do not even use, and an in-ground pool, a game room, or a hot tub. Also, when we walked down the street to the convenient store, we saw a few houses whose lawn was getting cut by paid workers; that is also is a sign of having a higher status in society. People who are in a marked category would not be able to hire people to cut their lawn for them. Being part of the unmarked category means that you have more power over the marked category, for the sole reason that you have more money.

Depending on your socioeconomic status, depends on where you live. My aunt and uncle are unmarked and part of the upper-class, therefore, they live in an upper-class neighborhood. They live in Columbia, a suburb of Howard County, Maryland, which is considered to be one of the nicer counties in the state of Maryland. They live in a small, quiet community, with not much more criminal activity other than speeding. Crime has certainly increased in Howard County over the past couple of years, but my aunt and uncle still feel their home is safe for themselves and their children, which would make them unmarked. My boyfriend and I live in the suburbs as well but the houses in our neighborhoods do not resemble that of my aunt and uncle’s residential community at all, so compared to them we are marked.

I definitely feel that if my boyfriend was unmarked and white, then there would not have been as much of a problem with taking him into my aunt and uncle’s community. Also, if we were part of the upper-class, then we would not have been as surprised with how my aunt and uncle lived, considering they were unmarked as well. My experience visiting my boyfriend’s family and his while visiting mine reflects social organization in that some people still have an issue with race, and especially with interracial relationships. My boyfriend said that he never knew any interracial couples while he lived in Brooklyn, and that it was definitely looked down upon in that area. Also, my older relatives have never dated interracially, and they do not necessarily understand it. However, more people in my generation accept it and date interracially themselves.

These socially constructed ideologies of marked and unmarked categories can change depending on your race, socioeconomic status, and geography which were shown in my two incidents. I learned how to determine what category I belonged to in which situation, as well as how to analyze those in my surroundings and determine which category that they belonged to as well. Although naturally I was considered to belong to the unmarked category because I am white, middle-class, and live in a nice area, I found out that when in a different geographic location my category can change.

The outcomes of situations can certainly change when you belong to a different category. The trip to New York was through the eyes of a white female; however, the following experience is from a black female’s perspective.

As we encounter many different situations in our lives, we ultimately begin to realize how we “fit into” the structure of society. Everyone falls into different categories which shows how we are different from others. Even the people we interact with everyday are different from us no matter how alike we may seem or how much we feel we have in common. Categories that exhibit these differences include one’s race, gender, social class, sexuality, able-bodiedness, language, religion, nationality, and age. These categories are those that we may or may not have control over and should not mean anything. However, society uses categories such as these to label others or judge others based on stereotypes or perceptions.

These categories, or dimensions of difference, can be described as marked or unmarked categories. A marked category is a specific element. Those that fall under this category are usually subordinate, powerless, and women. On the other hand, the unmarked category is generic. Those that fall under this category are usually more dominant, privileged, powerful, and are usually men. Although these factors may not necessarily be true, this is how these categories are viewed by most of society.

One event which clearly defined these differences was a date with my boyfriend. We decided to go out to dinner at the Cheesecake Factory in White Flint. White Flint is an area in Montgomery County, Maryland. We decided to ride the train to avoid driving. As we got onto the train at the station in my area, all one would see was black people. As we got closer to our destination, I noticed how the black people on the train quickly faded and more white people appeared. I had never rode the train this far so this was a first time experience. The quickly appearing white people let me know that Montgomery County was much different than D.C. This area was very diverse but predominately white. Many people who live in this area are a part of the middle-upper class and pretty much well off. I had rarely visited this side of town and never had I been to Montgomery County for social purposes. The restaurant was very nice and I was ready to enjoy my time at this lovely place. However, I was overwhelmed by the entire experience. There were some factors that caused me to feel uncomfortable because visiting this restaurant was a big change for me. Sometimes new experiences can be intimidating and I was definitely intimidated.

The geographic location of the restaurant was important in this situation and caused me to feel vulnerable in this “foreign” part of town. I am from southeast D.C. and being in Montgomery County, I felt powerless because the majority of the people there were white. When people usually think of southeast D.C., they think of the “ghetto” with high crime and a place that is just not friendly and nice to visit. D.C., especially southeast, is filled with numerous housing projects. A majority of the people there make a living through a low paying job and/or their dependence on welfare. On the other hand, Montgomery County is the suburbs and a place that I am not used to. Traveling to Montgomery County was a different experience for me because many of the houses and places of business in Montgomery County were very big and looked very expensive. It seemed like everyone was rich, drove expensive luxurious cars, and owned fairly large houses. This was definitely something I was not used to seeing on a daily basis. My boyfriend and I were considered marked while in Montgomery County. When in my own neighborhood, I would consider myself unmarked because I feel empowered when in my own territory. Although many people believe D.C. to be an unsafe place, I feel safe there because it is a place I have known my entire life. Therefore, when I traveled to Montgomery County, I did not feel safe. Despite the better reputation and fewer crimes the area has, I felt vulnerable and less comfortable than in my own neighborhood. This situation also relates to a child adapting to a new environment. When a child moves from his hometown to a new place, it can be scary for him and perhaps overwhelming. This new place is foreign and unknown to the child and is certainly out not anything that he is used to and out of the ordinary. It will have to take a while for the child to adapt to the new environment and feel comfortable enough to interact within his surroundings. This was exactly how I felt. When I came to Montgomery County, I was not accustomed to the area. I was not scared but intimidated by the big rich looking houses and businesses because they were far more luxurious than anything back in D.C. It took some time for me to explore the area and grow accustomed to it so I could enjoy being there.
I began to feel somewhat better when we approached the mall. The mall was my place of enjoyment and I frequently visited the mall when I needed a break from my everyday life. When we entered the mall there were some black people but the majority of the people in the mall were white. I did not pay any attention to the black to white ratio because I see all types of people when shopping. While in the mall my boyfriend and I were a part of the marked category. It did not bother me that we were in the marked category because although I was uncomfortable in the area, I did not feel inferior to the people within the mall. We walked around a bit before entering the restaurant to enjoy the scenery. Many of the stores were expensive stores. We were definitely marked in this situation because unlike the other shoppers in the mall, I doubt we could afford anything in any of the stores. The other shoppers in the mall were unmarked as they walked around with numerous bags in their hands, showing that they were obviously well off.

When we entered the restaurant, I immediately felt out of place. As previously stated, I am from D.C. where the majority of the people who live there are African American. There are some that are white but live downtown and are rarely seen in my part of town. Even when I go out within the D.C. area, I feel like I belong there. Due to the area that I lived in, I was surrounded by blacks on a daily basis. When I entered the restaurant, I felt out of place because I wasn’t accustomed to being around so many white people at one time. We were one of the only black people in the restaurant and for once, I felt different. Everyone stared like they were surprised to see that black people actually came to this side of town. My boyfriend and I, as blacks, were considered marked because we were the powerless in this case. We were the center of attention because we were black in a white neighborhood. Being considered marked in this situation could have been the reasons for the shocks and stares. The other customers in the restaurant could have felt powerful because they were white. Or perhaps, my boyfriend and I had the powerful advantage because we were the only blacks in such a place and a black person’s presence was least expected. Whatever the case, I was extremely uncomfortable but I was determined not to show the other customers that their stares had an effect on me. This shows how society unknowingly separates us and influences us to believe that one does not belong in a certain area. Someone can be considered marked just because they are in an area that rarely has people of their kind. This factor relates to a friend of mine from high school. I attended a predominately black school. The only girl in the school who was white was my friend Kelly. Kelly was the only white person I had ever known at the time but I accepted her as a friend. When others saw her, they stared, pointed, laughed, and even kept their distance because she was white. The other student’s reactions weren’t forms of racism; they were just surprised that a white girl actually attended our school. As time went on, everyone learned to accept Kelly as she was just another student. The only thing that differentiated us was that she was white and we were not but we all loved and accepted her. So, if the people in the restaurant would have accepted us, they would have gotten to see that we were just like anyone else in the restaurant, except the fact that we were black and they were white. It is a shame that this country still notices racial differences and is in shock when someone of a different race visits their side of town. We have long since gotten over racism and showing others that they do not belong or fit in simply because they are a different race.

Another issue that caused me to be out of place was that my boyfriend and I were young adults. When older adults think of young adults my age going out on dates in such nice places, they may think how can they afford to eat in this place? I believe the stares also resulted from this factor. The usual teen date is to the movies or somewhere less expensive, being that many young adults do not have high salaries, but more so part-time jobs since they are in school. The restaurant was filled with middle aged people. Many people from my area do not go out to other parts of town on dates. If they happen to go on a date, it is usually at a less expensive place in the area. As young adults in a mature setting, we were considered marked because compared to the middle aged adults there, we were like children. Although I was uncomfortable, I thought to myself: maybe these middle aged adults are shocked or perhaps even angry that we, as teens, were able to afford a meal in the same restaurant they worked every day to afford to eat in. The older adults could have felt powerful in the restaurant because they were older and we were the youngest couple there. The older adults probably looked at my boyfriend and I and assumed that we weren’t from the area, perhaps they thought that we too were members of the lower class and therefore, couldn’t afford the meal. Although their actions were rude, I didn’t mind too much. The older adults in my life still think of me as a child. They would have expected to see my boyfriend and I in a less expensive place being that we didn’t have annual incomes and because older people in that area usually visit the restaurant. The older adults in my life are overprotective and expect young adults like myself to enjoy my youth and not engage in any “adult” activities. My mother was actually surprised to hear that we were going to Montgomery County to the Cheesecake Factory. She too didn’t expect us to be going to such a nice place. The entire situation shocked me. Never did I think that young people trying to have a good time would cause this much attention. Similarly, when my boyfriend and I go out within our area, we do not attract much attention at all. I guess it is because there are a lot of affordable places that teens can go to for dates. When we are in our neighborhoods, we could be a part of the marked category. We are more powerful when in our own territories with those that are within our age group. If an older adult visited the places that us teens visit, they too would attract stares, comments, and would not fit in.

Putting the shoe on the other foot and imagining me in the opposite category would have made
this experience much different. If the area we were in was in a more rural area like D.C., I would have felt more comfortable. Being in a more rural area would have been more comfortable for me because it was something that I was used to as a result of growing up in D.C. I would have also felt less vulnerable and a sense of belonging. If my boyfriend and I were whites in the restaurant, we would have gotten a less shocking reaction. We would have been a part of the unmarked category and we would have “fit into the picture” nicely. I would have also felt better about the situation if we were older since many of the customers in the restaurant were middle aged. This would have also caused fewer stares and assumptions that we could not afford to dine in at the restaurant. This shows how everyone is confined to one area and rarely visits places that may be as close as five minutes away.

My personal experience shows how society views everyone. Everyone is different in their own way and society uses these differences as ways to hold us back or bring us up in within the social organization. In my experience, my boyfriend and I were the minority. In this situation, we were marked due to factors that were out of our control. We were judged because we were different. We were black, young adults in a suburban part of town, where those that lived there were not used to seeing people like us. Therefore, we were looked down upon and considered powerless in a place that was the complete opposite of us. In the larger picture, this shows how narrow minded some people are. Why should there be any awkward reactions to things that are different? Why should the people in D.C. be shocked when they see a white person in the area? Why should people in Montgomery County be shocked when they see young black people in the area trying to have a nice time? We should not be judged and categorized to feel like we belong in a certain place. There should not be categories that distinguish people from each other to show that one group is inferior to another group. Everyone should be equal despite their differences.